The Funeral 101

Fewer decisions than it feels like, and less hurry.

8 min read

In short

There are fewer required decisions than it feels like, and almost nothing must happen as fast as it seems. The real choices are three: burial or cremation, what kind of gathering, and how much to spend. By law, the prices are yours to see before you agree to anything.

The legal floor

very little is required by law; embalming, for instance, is rarely mandatory.

Cost

direct cremation from about 1,000 to 3,000 dollars; full service burial commonly 7,000 to 12,000 dollars and up.

Your rights

the FTC Funeral Rule entitles you to itemized prices, by phone, before you commit.

The three real decisions

Body: burial, cremation, or a green option. Cremation does not preclude a service. Burial does not require the most expensive casket, and the funeral home must accept one bought elsewhere.

Gathering: at the funeral home, a house of faith, the graveside, your home, or later as a memorial. There is no deadline on honoring someone.

Money: decide the number first, then choose within it. Grief and sales pressure are a bad pair; bring a steady friend.

Check before you pay

Any prepaid plan or burial insurance; written wishes; the VA benefit if your person served; unions and faith communities with funeral funds; county assistance where it exists.

Watch-outs

You are never required to buy a package. Get the itemized list; it is your legal right.
Sealed protective caskets change cost, not outcomes.
If money is short, direct cremation followed by a memorial you shape yourselves is a loving and complete choice.

Words you will meet

direct cremation: cremation without a preceding service.
columbarium: a place that holds urns.
green burial: burial without embalming or a vault.

Choosing a funeral home
Funeral costs and where help exists

Every situation is different from the last.

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