What to do in the first thirty days after a loss

First, breathe

Before anything else, know this: there is no perfect way to do this. The to-do list can feel endless, but very few things truly need to happen today. Give yourself permission to move slowly.

If you can, ask one person, a sibling, a friend, a neighbor, to be your “practical partner.” Someone who can make calls, take notes, and sit beside you when the paperwork feels like too much.

Week 1: The essentials

The first week is about safety, support, and the bare minimum logistics. Don’t try to do everything. Focus on what’s urgent.

• Notify immediate family and close friends
• Contact the funeral home or cremation service
• Secure the home and any valuables your person left behind
• Locate the will, if one exists, and identify the executor
• Request 10–15 certified copies of the death certificate, you’ll need more than you think
• Notify the employer (yours and theirs) about the loss

Weeks 2–3: Notifications and paperwork

Once the immediate arrangements are made, the administrative reality sets in. This is where many people feel blindsided, the sheer volume of calls, forms, and deadlines.

• Contact the Social Security Administration to report the death
• Notify the bank, credit card companies, and mortgage lender
• File the life insurance claim, most policies have no deadline, but earlier is better
• Forward mail and cancel or transfer utility accounts
• Begin gathering financial documents: tax returns, account statements, deeds
• Notify the DMV, voter registration, and any subscription services

Week 4: Looking ahead

By the end of the first month, the urgency starts to fade but the weight doesn’t. This is a good time to begin organizing what’s been done and what still lies ahead.

• Create a master list of all accounts, contacts, and open tasks
• Meet with an estate attorney if probate is required
• Review your own financial situation, income, insurance, benefits
• Begin thinking about long-term changes (housing, work, childcare)
• Notice your basics: are you eating, sleeping, asking for help?

You don’t have to do this alone

The modern experience of loss is overwhelming not because people are weak, but because the systems around us weren’t built for this moment. There’s no central place to go, no single checklist that covers everything, and no one person who can walk you through it all.

That’s exactly what LumenUs was built to change. A structured, AI-powered care plan that adapts to your situation, your state, your role, your timeline, so you never have to wonder what comes next.